<Lt. Cmdr. Mortimer,  USS Lafayette, Transporter Room>

Mortimer opens his eyes, trying to ignore the stinging, and sees a black splodge. After a few moments, the top of the splodge turns pink, and a red stripe appears between the pink and black.

Gasping for breath, he hears something about the captain being kidnapped, and the splodge tells him that it is the new captain and it wants him to be it's first officer.

Why would a splodge want me as it's first officer. 

The splodge then grows a darker rim around the pink bit on top, and the black splodge appears to split at either side, and splits in half at the bottom. The pink splodge on top turns into Lt. Cmdr. Storm's face.

The splodge is swallowing Storm. I have to do something.

Mortimer tries to get up, but falls flat on his face. Looking up, the splodge slowly dissolves into something more closely resembling Storm. A blue splodge enters the room, and starts treating his eyes with something wet.

I've been kidnapped by a ship full of splodges. HEEELLLLPPP.

As the remoisturising treatment soaks into his cornea, Mortimer's eyes return to normal, and he sees Lt. Lisa Barrett kneeling beside him, now scanning Swanberg with a tricorder.

He looks back at the first splodge, which now looks exactly like Lt. Cmdr. Storm - correction - Captain Storm. Mortimer's brain slowly starts realising what is happening.

"Captain, sir... I.. er... sorry, did you just promote me.", Mortimer croaks.

Lt. Barrett pours something down his throat, and he starts to feel better.

"Yes, sir. I accept. um.... permission to faint, sir."
Mortimer collapses unconsious.

Some time later, he awakens in sick bay. After a short medical, he is told that he is now fit for duty, and returns to his quarters.

Mortimer sits at his private computer console, and keys in the code for Commander Tnega's 'office'

Tnega's face appears on screen. He seems shocked to see Mortimer alive, but quickly regains his composure.
"How.. What... er.. Well done Mr. Mortimer - I was hoping you would find another way out. Our transporter just malfunctioned. When the Ferengi blew that shuttle apart I feared that you had been killed. Did Commander Swanberg get out as well"

"Yes. He's in sick bay now. Commander - I believe you have some information for me."

"Yes." replies Tnega, holding up an Isolinear chip, "Do you have the Ferengi computer dump."

The PADD - I must have left it on the shuttle.

"No. It must have been on the shuttle when the Ferengi destroyed it. I... don't suppose there's any chance of you letting me have that anyway?"

"Sorry, but I think you already know that answer. Maybe we can do business again at a later date. Tnega out."

Mortimer sits back in his chair. "Mortimer to Sick bay. How is Commander Swanberg"

"We just released him for duty." comes the reply.

"Thanks. Mortimer out." He turns back to his console. 
"Computer, give me a read-out of crew updates"

He browses the list, disappointed to see that there are no new Operations Officers included.
Flipping through the screens, he makes cabin and roster assignments.
[O.O.C. - everybody should have received a cabin assignment EMail from me]
He also notices Lt. Beata's promotion to Senior Flight Control Officer, Captain Storm's promotion, and his own assignment as Acting First Officer. Lt. Cmdr. Xavier has transferred to Starbase 336 Science section as head of research, and his position has been filled by one of the new officers, Lieutenant Diego, who will hold the positions of Senior Tactical Officer and Acting Security Chief. Lt. Sadik, Science Officer, Lieutenant j.g Grifter, Tactical; Lieutenant j.g. Wilcox, Security; and Lieutenant j.g. Arak, Security. Only their names and assignments are listed, as the records are still being transferred from STOS.  

I wonder if my promotion will be made permanent. Maybe Vice-Admiral McCarthy doesn't hate my guts after all.

Mortimer gets up and wanders over to his replicator. "Gagh" A bowl of wriggling worms appears.
Good job nobody here knows I like Klingon food - they'd think I was mad.

Mortimer picks out a handful of the things and drops them down his throat.
Mmmmmm.

It's been a long day. Time to get some rest.

Mortimer heads over to his bed, and falls asleep, still in his uniform.