<Lt. Cmdr. Max Mortimer, Officer's Lounge, 1940>

Mortimer is sitting at the table. An empty bottle of Bajoran brandy sits on the table, and a new bottle stands next to it, just opened.

He attempts to reach a tricky circuit in his arm with a sonic screwdriver. He slips, and the device falls to the ground. Groaning, he feels around the floor for it, locates it, and picks it up.

Reaching for the bottle with his good arm, Mortimer pours himself another drink.

"Computer, take a memo.

To: Vice Admiral McCarthy, Starfleet Command.

From: Lt. Cmdr Maxwell Ernest Mortimer, Operations Manager, USS Lafayette

Subject: 

er...

Subject: You, you useless excuse for a Qoo'tak `na.

Admiral -  oh sorry, Vice Admiral, I'd forgotten that you weren't a proper one. - I'm starting to realise that you want me out of Starfleet, but haven't got the guts - or a legitimate reason - to throw me out, so you're just trying to get me to resign by assigning me to all the (&@% duties. And don't think that I didn't notice being overlooked for that First Officer position on the Tintagel, either.

um....

Anyway, I just thought that I'd let you know that I'm on to you, and it won't work. You see, I'm actually starting to look on these assignments as a challenge, trying to work out who you've put aboard to keep an eye on me, what their instructions are, and how I can annoy them more. 

I think I'm winning in this round. Your move, I believe"

"Message ends"

"Acknowledged"

"Computer, scramble that message, authorisation Mortimer seven-two-delta, and send it by priority channel to McCarthy's personal Inbox, not the official one."

"Message scrambled and sent to communications for transmission in the next data burst to Starfleet Command"

Mortimer turns back to the table, and his drink.

"Computer, edit out the 'Ums' and 'Ers' in that last message before you send it"

"Message edited"

Mortimer downs the glass in a single shot, and pours himself another.

"Oh, and Computer, send a subspace communication to Earth. Order a wreath to Vice Admiral McCarthy's home address, charged to my account, message "From the Romulans'."

"Order processed and included in data packet to Earth"